6 tips on living a confident + focused lifestyle (and just generally kicking ass)

1. Don’t date someone just to make up for a self-love deficit.

Find a way to love your life and yourself without relying on external compliments and the love of a romantic partner. If necessary, evaluate yourself. What aren’t you happy with? How can you take steps to change that?
BAF’s (Bad Ass Females) look at it this way: In a relationship? Cool! Not in a relationship? Also cool! Whether you’re in a relationship or not, your opinion of yourself should not change.

2. Cultivate a life that feels good, rather than it just looking good.

People are obsessed with Facebook, Instagram, Tinder, Flickr, whatever else, I don’t even know, I lost track. And because of these outlets, people become so focused on creating a life that looks good on the outside (attending lots of events on Facebook, gym selfies, a photo of your favourite Frappuccino that you bought cause TREAT YO SELF, posting photos every 5 minutes at an event of HOW MUCH FUN YOU’RE HAVING OMG) that they forget to focus on how their life is actually functioning. It’s okay to go out for coffee with a friend and focus on what they’re saying, rather than getting the perfect selfie together.
Are you taking photos of things because they fulfill you (your family, your dog, a special moment) or are you taking photos of things because you want other people to see them?

3. Don’t sit on the sidelines.

Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want. It can be difficult to approach people and ask them out on a date, ask for a raise, or ask to be a part of something. You might get a “no” in response, but you’ll definitely get a “no” if you never step up and ask in the first place. BAF’s rarely sit on the sidelines – they go out and ask for what they want, and demand respect while doing it.

4. Know your worth.

Don’t compete for a man like you’re on the Bachelor, especially if that man is encouraging competition between women because it’s good for his ego. If someone doesn’t recognize your worth, that is the moment to walk away.
Seeing someone who isn’t treating you awesome? End it. Working a job you hate? Re-evaluate and see if you can find somewhere you’d be happier. Figure out what you think you deserve, and refuse to settle for anything less.

5. Don’t play the victim.

Things go wrong all the time. We all have those days (or weeks) where you already felt crappy... and then your apartment flooded, you didn’t get that raise, your boyfriend broke up with you, you sprained your wrist, your car broke down. Oh, woe is me! You’re welcome to allow yourself a couple minutes of a pity party, but after that, buck up, put on your steel face and work through it. Take one problem off the shelf at a time, fix it, and then focus on the next problem at hand. Don’t wallow – you’re not helping anyone, especially yourself.

6. Make plans and follow through.

Whether it’s coffee with a friend or a serious career transition, make a plan for successful execution and follow through. Not only will you generally accomplish more and feel better about yourself, people sincerely appreciate being able to count on someone. 

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